As a recommendation by someone I know, and who knows some of the personal things I am going through, I have read the book A New Way to Win by mediator and therapist Tobias Desjardins.
While I am a highly educated individual and can read legal documents without challenges, in most cases, I still enjoy reading books that are written in such a way that a layperson could understand the concepts and meanings. This just makes the reading much more enjoyable, for me anyway (and makes the reading much quicker, too). A New Way to Win is a very easy read with only 139 pages of actual reading, which includes the foreword and introduction.
With divorce rates so high, and custody disputes almost as high, there are many people who need some extra assistance with understanding the process, understanding how custody disputes affect children, and what ‘winning’ really should mean.
Mr. Desjardins’ book is broken down into three basic sections:
- Laying a Foundation for Change
- Seven Power Strategies for Ending Your Custody Dispute
- Making It Work In The Real World
Each section outlines these topics in an easy-to-read format that allows for an understanding of the concepts and gives detailed examples, including real-life examples that Mr. Desjardins has experienced with his own clients.
The information provided allows a parent to see a few specific things they may not realize as they are fighting a custody battle with their ex, no matter if the divorce is recent or it has been years since the divorce. It also gives parents information about how they can move past the break up, if they haven’t already.
The first section gives definitions, overviews, and examples to assist the reader in learning new definitions for old words and concepts that can help a parent understand the entire process in a different way. The second section gives specific power strategies to help a parent move forward, work with their children, how to negotiate with difficult people, and how to get past the stress. The third section focuses on how to put the information given in the previous two sections into play in low, moderate, and high-conflict custody disputes.
Being in a high-conflict custody dispute, I have learned a great deal from this book. When someone is in a custody dispute there are sometimes things that they forget, or just don’t realize, especially when it comes to their kids. As parents we want nothing less than the best for our children, but sometimes we forget about things we should or shouldn’t do as parents to protect them. After all, we are human and we will make mistakes.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who is, or will soon be, in a custody dispute, no matter the level of the dispute. Even if the reader already knows the information presented in this book, it is a good reminder about how to be a better parent.
In addition, all proceeds from the sale of this book are donated to the non-profit organization: International Center for Peaceful Shared Custody.
To read more about Desjardins, to attend a class, or to learn more about co-parenting, you can visit his site.