Selfishness And Guilt Trips: Victim Or Perpetrator?
Selfishness. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, selfish is defined as, “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” As humans, we are naturally a selfish creature. After all, how can we survive without being selfish to some degree? We simply cannot.
However, we also need to be careful what we are selfish about and how we go about portraying this selfishness. I have known far too many people in my lifetime who are of the mindset that if something doesn’t benefit them, then there’s no use doing that thing. Many other people I know are selfish to the point that they try to make others feel bad for trying to better their life. This can come in many forms, but the most common is for the selfish person to attempt to make the other person feel bad for what they are trying to accomplish. Not only is this annoying, but if it works then the person loses out on what they are trying to accomplish, and they lose out on bettering their life. It’s also called making someone feel guilty for your own personal gain. And guilt can ruin lives.
If you are the one trying to better your life in whatever way and someone is trying to get you to feel guilty, here are some tips on how to overcome this situation and continue to do what you want:
- Understand that whoever is trying to make you feel guilty is being selfish.
- Understand and accept that you may never be able to change their mind.
- Understand and accept that if they choose not to associate with you anymore because you choose to do better for yourself, then that is their loss, not yours.
- Always keep in the forefront of your mind what your plans are and what you are expecting the end result to be.
- Always keep in mind how happy you will be when you accomplish this goal you have set for yourself.
- Don’t let their selfishness and guilt trip affect your plans. Keep pushing forward.
One of the top self-improvement tips that I have is that if you are the type of person that makes others feel bad for making decisions to better their life, focus on being happy for others instead. If you don’t, then you are holding them back from their dreams and you will make your own life miserable. It’s okay to feel upset if that person is planning to move away, for example, but don’t make it all about you. It’s okay to express that you’ll be sad, but it’s not okay to tell them that they are making your life miserable (or something similar).
There are certain things that you should be selfish about. For me, it’s my family. Yes, I am selfish about my family. I want the best of what I can offer to my children. I want my children to be happy and healthy. This is a healthy and happy selfishness.
I promise that if you do this, then you will also be a much happier person.