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Archive for the ‘Un-Business Stuff’ Category

Ideas For How To Strengthen Your Marriage

In Un-Business Stuff on June 26, 2018 at 8:38 am

For those who decide to marry, you know that it can be a challenging and rewarding relationship all at the same time. You love your spouse, but there are days that you argue which causes unwanted friction in your relationship.

The upside to all of this is that there are practical ways for how you can strengthen your marriage and grow closer to one another. All it takes is a little extra effort on both sides and you two committing to deepening your bond and falling even more in love as time goes on. Remember to try to enjoy the experience and all the benefits it brings to your marriage.

Spend Quality Time Together

Passing each other in the hallway and hardly noticing each other’s existence isn’t what’s going to help you strengthen your relationship. You need to block off your calendars for spending quality time together where you can participate in activities you both enjoy. Think back to when you first started dating and all the fun you had when you were young and in love. Bring back these feelings by giving each other your undivided attention and being together in a relaxed environment where you can simply take pleasure in one another’s company. Switch off who plans the date night to keep it interesting and share the responsibility between the two of you.

Discuss & Manage Your Finances Collectively

One of the main reasons marriages split up is because of financial disagreements or troubles. It’s important you work together and come up with a plan for how you want to manage your money as a team. Refer to a resource such as Bonsai Finance to learn about the pros and cons of opening a joint bank account and additional money management tips. Stop blaming each other for irresponsible spending habits and instead come up with a plan of attack jointly for how you want to proceed in the future. This is one task you want to put at the top of your to-do list if you’re going to truly be happy in the long-term.

Communicate Openly & Talk about Your Day

Honest and open communication is essential for strengthening your relationship and getting to new levels of intimacy with your partner. Being secretive and shying away from sharing important details with your spouse won’t help to win over their trust. One way to help you overcome any barriers is to get in the habit of sharing about your day with each other. You should both be willing to listen and ask relevant questions so you understand where the other is coming from and can offer advice if necessary. Holding back information or talking over each other will keep you from getting on the same page.

Stop Comparing Yourselves to Others

Strengthen your marriage when you stop comparing yourselves to others and external relationships. It’s tempting to do when you see people who appear happy on the surface, but you don’t know what’s truly going on in their lives. Focus on your spouse and improving your situation first and foremost and stop worrying about what others are doing. You’ll accomplish more and get further ahead when you’re giving the one you love your undivided attention and working together to strengthen your marriage. While adapting behaviors from healthy relationships is encouraged, you should never try to mimic people whose lives you know nothing about in the first place.

Show & Express Gratitude & Appreciation for Each Other

Be mindful that you’re taking the time to express gratitude and show appreciation for each other and what you individually contribute to the relationship. Surprise one another with kind gestures such as helping out with chores or around the house when the other person least expects it. These are exactly the types of improvements you need if you’re going to get through difficult times. Be vocal about how you feel toward your spouse by saying you love them out loud and not simply assuming they know that you’re thinking it. Speak up and say thank you to each other once in a while and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with your partner.

Be Respectful

A little respect goes a long way, especially in a marriage, so never underestimate the power of this suggestion. You can accomplish this goal by being considerate of the other person’s space and their feelings if you want to strengthen your bond. Build trust instead of snooping around and assuming the person you love is behaving poorly or going behind your back. Not only demonstrate respect by your actions, but also verbally with your words and how you speak to one another at all times. It’s important you treat each other with proper respect both in public and behind closed doors if you want to find long-term success as a couple.

Problem Solve instead of Complain

You can complain all you want about what’s wrong or tough about your marriage, but that’s not what’s going to help you two last for years to come. Focus your efforts on communicating and problem solving your way to better days ahead. Work as a team to come up with solutions, instead of arguing and blaming one another for mistakes each of you has made in the past. Sit down and discuss the issue at hand and talk through what’s on your mind versus assuming the other person knows what you’re thinking. Your problems aren’t going to go away until you get to the root causes and both move past them without holding any grudges.

Conclusion

Marriage is work and takes both parties contributing and giving it their all if you’re going to see positive results. Strengthen your marriage using these ideas and take note of how much happier and satisfying your life becomes. Accept that there will be obstacles along the way, but that you can overcome these road bumps if you and your loved one are willing to put your differences aside and focus on why you two fell in love in the first place.

This post may contain affiliate links.

Is Your Counselor The Best Choice For You?

In Un-Business Stuff on June 21, 2018 at 8:25 am

 

Choosing a counselor that is right for you isn’t an easy task. The best counselors help to motivate you, treat your problems, and help you discover new traits about yourself, but some of the most ineffective counselors can end up causing their clients more harm than good. Just like in any profession, there are going to be counselors that aren’t as good as others. Here are some red flags that the counselor you’ve picked isn’t for you.

They Don’t Accept Feedback

Being a counselor doesn’t involve just providing you with ways to help you cope with things that you’re struggling with to help you grow. Your counselor needs to grow along with their clients as well, in their therapeutic relationship. One way to do that is to listen to the feedback that their clients give them and adapt their treatment plan accordingly. However, if the therapist gets aggressive after criticism, or they continue with the same treatment that the client wasn’t happy with, it may be time for you to consider another therapist.

They Put You Down

A good therapist will use psychological techniques and empathetic communication to help a client understand that some of their problems may be self-perpetuating, and this will help the client to accept the feedback, as well as change their approach to whatever issue it is that they’re working through. However, a therapist that harshly criticizes, berates, or does not realize how they communicate is upsetting the client or making them defensive is not one with whom you can have a constructive therapeutic relationship.

They Don’t Respect Your Beliefs

A counselor needs to be empathetic towards and sensitive to all different types of backgrounds, experiences, and beliefs. Each counselor has their own set of beliefs, but they need to put these aside when working with their clients. If your counselor is trying to force their views on you, or convert you to or convince you of their beliefs, this is a bad sign. Unless you’re in a potentially harmful environment, you shouldn’t feel like your therapist is challenging your beliefs.

They Don’t Respect the Privacy of Other Clients

A therapist needs to practice the utmost confidentiality at all times. If your situation is similar to another client’s, the therapist may mention the client in general, but they cannot give any information that identifies the client. If they are casually mentioning other clients’ names, or giving identifying information other than their name (e.g., where they work), then this is a problem.

They Are Hardly on Time or Available

Sometimes, a counselor may not be on time – incidents and emergencies happen. However, a counselor who is constantly late, repeatedly canceling appointments, or is always difficult to reach may be someone who you don’t want to work with.

They Barely Talk

A therapist needs to be a good listener, but there comes a time when they need to respond and offer feedback. If you feel like you’ve been able to vent but unable to practice any new coping skills since you haven’t learned any, there needs to be some kind of intervention in the therapeutic relationship and process. You need a therapist who can not only listen, but also respond with constructive techniques that will help you cope.

Other than the reasons listed above, you can also read reviews from other clients and see if a certain counselor is right for you before you even attend your first session. Online counseling services such as BetterHelp try to pair you with a counselor who is best for you as soon as you sign up, but as with any other therapeutic relationship, it may take more than one try before you’re paired with the counselor who works with you best. Don’t be afraid to take charge of your mental health journey if you feel like you are stuck with a therapist that isn’t working for you, and make an effort to find someone that helps you achieve your goals, not keep you from them.

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

This post may contain affiliate links.

Why More Young People Are Choosing To See A Psychologist

In Un-Business Stuff on May 26, 2018 at 8:29 am

Millennials and other younger generations have been all about therapy. Seeing a psychologist or a therapist has been second nature to the younger generation. Why is this? There are quite a few reasons for this, and in this post, we will discuss it.

Millennials Have More Mental Illnesses

It’s hard to tell whether mental illness is worsening or if we’re just getting better with diagnosing it. Perhaps it’s a bit of both. Whatever the case, the younger generation has quite a few mental health issues to deal with, and they cope by talking to someone who is willing to listen. A psychologist can help diagnose them and figure out treatment options. Sometimes, the answer is medicine. Other times, the answer is through therapy techniques.

Millennials Have Their Own Unique Problems

Every generation faces their own share of difficulties, but the younger generations has some unique problems of their own. From financial difficulties to figuring out how the psychology of their fellow peers works, there is no wonder why many are turning to therapy in order to solve them. There are even therapist whose job is to deal with the problems that many Millennials face.

Millennials Are More Likely to Talk About Their Feelings

There has been a societal expectation, particularly for males, to not talk about your emotions. No one wants to hear it, and you should deal with your own problems rather than thrust them on someone else. However, many problems do need the help of others in order to be solved, and a therapist is willing to listen, tell you what you can do to solve your problem, and be your shoulder to cry on.

Expressing your feelings is not a bad thing, and more people are realizing this.

Millennials Want to Improve

We are truly living in the generation of self-improvement. Thanks to the Internet, we see how other people are living, and we want to be like them. We want to get the dream job, go to our dream destination, and live the best life possible. While not every young person is doing it, many are seeking therapy in order to improve their quality of life. They can learn how to land that job, learn how to get in their dream relationship, and much more.

Talking to a Therapist or Psychologist is Easier Than Ever

In the past, it could be difficult to talk to someone if you needed help. You had to visit a building at a regular, consistent session, and not everyone had schedules that could fit with a normal therapist’s times. Some people also don’t have the transportation to make it in a consistent manner. However, thanks to online services such as BetterHelp, it’s easy. Almost every young person has a smartphone, and these allow for video chats, texts, or any other form of communication with their psychologist. This makes it easy to talk to someone when you’re having an episode, allowing them to help calm you down.

Not only that, but many of these sites have great payment plans, allowing the low-budget Millennials to choose a treatment plan that is flexible for their wallets.

These are just a few reasons why therapy is so prevalent nowadays. If you want to talk to a psychologist, there is no shame in doing so. They can help treat your problems and teach you how to be the best person you possible can in this world. So talk to someone today, and your well-being will be glad that you did. Don’t let your problems manifest until they consume you.

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

This post may contain affiliate links.

It Makes Sense To Have A Mortgage, And Here’s Why

In Un-Business Stuff on May 16, 2018 at 7:38 am

Mortgages are specially designed loans for homeowners, and without them, many of us would not be able to own our homes today. The main problem that people have with taking out a mortgage is the fear of debt-bondage.

The average lifespan of a mortgage is 30 years. This means three decades of making monthly payments, which can seem overwhelming. But as there is always a trusted mortgage broker in Sydney or in your local area, we’re here to set the record straight and tell you there is little to fear with having a mortgage. In fact, it can be useful financially.

Since there is also interest charged on mortgages (as with all bank loans), most people believe that paying back the home loan as quickly as possible makes the most financial sense. However, we suggest that retaining a mortgage is a better idea than paying it off as quickly as possible.

  1. Low Interest Rate

As loans go, a mortgage is one of the lowest interest rates you’ll ever receive. If you take out a mortgage at a low rate, like 3-4%, then you can fix that amount over the next 30 years. In the meantime, if interest rates rise to 5-6%, you can invest and earn good returns whilst still locked into only paying 3 or 4 percent on your home loan. This is a guaranteed return on your mortgage money, and so no need to pay off your mortgage so quickly if you can actually make money from it.

  1. Preserving Liquidity

This one can be difficult for people to get their head around, and the majority of people often underestimate the importance of liquidity. The main idea behind liquidity is that the amount of money that a person has that is not included in investments or consumer goods. If a person pays off their mortgage earlier than the length of its term, they are also reducing their liquidity.

In other words, it would be more beneficial to keep the money rather than plough it into paying off the mortgage too soon. The money could be used to contribute to buying other major purchases, for example, a new car, rather than needing to go into debt. It makes more sense to keep the mortgage as the main debt and try to avoid accruing other debts, rather than paying off the mortgage as quickly as possible but going into debt when buying other things.

  1. Investing the Extra Money Elsewhere

If a person does have enough money to consider paying off their mortgage sooner, then they should consider doing something else with the spare cash. Whilst it is tempting, as we’ve already suggested, paying off a mortgage as soon as possible is not necessarily to most beneficial use of this extra money.

Investing the money into something not related to housing may be a sensible idea. For example, you could put the money into the stock market, which could give a return of anything up to 8%, which is double the rate of 4% that we’ve already discussed. However, there are certain risks involved to any kind of investment that you should be aware of before putting the money in.

Whether you choose to invest your money or keep it as liquidity, we certainly feel that keeping a mortgage is the most sensible idea, whilst interest rates are so low. Being indebted to a long-term loan may seem daunting, but for many reasons, it also makes financial sense.

This post may contain affiliate links.

Why People Reveal Secrets In Therapy

In Un-Business Stuff on April 19, 2018 at 5:11 am

Therapy is a safe space to talk about your problems. Your therapist, whether they’re an online therapist or an in-person one, is there to unconditionally support you no matter what’s going on in your life. They care about you, and they want to be well. Your friends and family also want these things for you. But, the difference is that your loved ones are not objective. When you have a wacky idea, even though they might think it’s counterproductive, they may support it because they love you and want you to be happy.

Your therapist is there to support you too, but their job is different than a friend or family member. Your therapist’s job is to help you to find balance in your life and make emotionally healthy decisions. But when you first start therapy, that’s not going to be an instant result. It takes time to get to your emotional goals and understand what you need to work on to get better.

In the interim, there is a lot of emotional foundation to work on. When a person starts seeing a therapist, they often feel a sense of relief. If they’re open to how therapy can help them get better, they will be more likely to be truthful and vulnerable with their feelings. If you start therapy as an adult, you’ve had a lifetime of memories, both joyful and traumatic, to work through. When a person is actively suffering, they’re more motivated to work on their issues.

People do not like to be in pain, and so when they want relief from their pain, they often seek it in therapy. When a person has a solid relationship with their counselor or therapist, they are candid with them. They can even get to the point where they reveal deep dark secrets to their therapist. There are certain mental illnesses that have shame associated with them. One of them is OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). A person with OCD struggles with intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. They might feel shame with their behaviors, such as compulsive text messaging a boyfriend or girlfriend, or obsessively washing their hands. Some compulsions can feel embarrassing and hard to admit to their friends or family members. However, in therapy those secret compulsions could be more easily revealed if the person feels safe with their therapist.

Therapy is one of the ways that people can make life feel easier. If you’ve been hiding something for the majority of your life, it can feel freeing or cathartic to reveal that secret to an impartial person who also truly cares about you. A good therapist demonstrates their care for you. They want to show you that therapy is a safe space to share the things that you’ve been reluctant to share in “real life.” By revealing secrets in therapy, you become better at self-actualization and are better able to be honest about your experiences with your loved ones. Therapy is a great way to practice being honest and translates that skill outside of the therapeutic relationship into your life.

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

This post may contain affiliate links.