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A new way to win

As a recommendation by someone I know, and who knows some of the personal things I am going through, I have read the book A New Way to Win by mediator and therapist Tobias Desjardins.

While I am a highly educated individual and can read legal documents without challenges, in most cases, I still enjoy reading books that are written in such a way that a layperson could understand the concepts and meanings. This just makes the reading much more enjoyable, for me anyway (and makes the reading much quicker, too). A New Way to Win is a very easy read with only 139 pages of actual reading, which includes the foreword and introduction.

With divorce rates so high, and custody disputes almost as high, there are many people who need some extra assistance with understanding the process, understanding how custody disputes affect children, and what ‘winning’ really should mean.

Mr. Desjardins’ book is broken down into three basic sections:

  • Laying a Foundation for Change
  • Seven Power Strategies for Ending Your Custody Dispute
  • Making It Work In The Real World

Each section outlines these topics in an easy-to-read format that allows for an understanding of the concepts and gives detailed examples, including real-life examples that Mr. Desjardins has experienced with his own clients.

The information provided allows a parent to see a few specific things they may not realize as they are fighting a custody battle with their ex, no matter if the divorce is recent or it has been years since the divorce. It also gives parents information about how they can move past the break up, if they haven’t already.

The first section gives definitions, overviews, and examples to assist the reader in learning new definitions for old words and concepts that can help a parent understand the entire process in a different way. The second section gives specific power strategies to help a parent move forward, work with their children, how to negotiate with difficult people, and how to get past the stress. The third section focuses on how to put the information given in the previous two sections into play in low, moderate, and high-conflict custody disputes.

Being in a high-conflict custody dispute, I have learned a great deal from this book. When someone is in a custody dispute there are sometimes things that they forget, or just don’t realize, especially when it comes to their kids. As parents we want nothing less than the best for our children, but sometimes we forget about things we should or shouldn’t do as parents to protect them. After all, we are human and we will make mistakes.

Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who is, or will soon be, in a custody dispute, no matter the level of the dispute. Even if the reader already knows the information presented in this book, it is a good reminder about how to be a better parent.

In addition, all proceeds from the sale of this book are donated to the non-profit organization: International Center for Peaceful Shared Custody.

Salsa Chicken

Serves 8

8 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

64 Oz salsa

2 Cans corn, drained

2 Cans black beans, drained

Put all ingredients into the crockpot. Cook on low 6 to 8 hours. 30 – 60 minutes prior to serving, remove chicken, shred, and return to slow cooker to keep warm.

Serve over Spanish rice or in a burrito with sour cream, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and salsa.

9/11 Memorial Museum

The events on September 11, 2001 are now in history books, on websites, museums, dedications, and in buildings across the country. While devastating, these events have created a door for Americans to come together as a country and become a stronger nation.

Hundreds of Americans, heroes, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, children, uncles, aunts, and grandparents were killed in the attack that day either directly from attack or the resulting collapse of the buildings and fires that consumed the buildings. These victims have not been forgotten.

The 9/11 Memorial Museum, located at Greenwich St and Fulton St in New York, is a detailed chronicle of the attacks that occurred on 9/11, the history that lead up to his horrendous attack, including personal voices, thoughts and items from those in the middle of the attack.

The museum is home to many, many artifacts from ground zero, fire trucks, memorial inscriptions, personal items donated by loved ones, missing posters from those who went missing that day, among other items.

For more information on the Memorial Museum, please visit https://www.911memorial.org/visit

Most business owners look for best practices in a variety of topics to help them create a good business and to enhance their business practices. But, after weeding through all of the best practices, what should a business owner really look for, take as good advice, and what should he or she do with all of the information?

Not all information is for every business.

Best practices come from what a business has tried and found to be successful, but the idea or solution won’t work in every situation or with every business. Be on the lookout for best practices that come from companies that are 1) in your industry and 2) are like the type of company that you want your company to be like.

Look for and at everything.

You may be looking for specific advice to tackle a specific issue in your business, but don’t overlook the litany of other information that is out there. You may be having an issue in your company that you don’t even know about, or maybe you accidently come across a great idea that you believe could work for your business. Reading (with an open mind) can help you find information you didn’t know you needed or wanted.

Be careful to do your research.

While there is a lot of advice, information, and best practices out there, be sure you do your own research on the topic as well. For example, of someone recommends a specific program to help solve a specific need, research:

  1. The company offering the advice – did it really solve the issue(s) they say it did?
  2. The company offering the service – what is their track record, what are the costs, ect.?
  3. Competing businesses / competing quotes – check to see if the recommended company is in-line with the competition with software, pricing, terms, etc.

Company cultures are different.

When looking at best practices, depending on the type of best practices you are seeking, look at the culture of the company you are taking this advice from. Do they have a similar culture to your company? Do they have the type of culture that you want your company to have?

It is better to adapt rather than adopt.

Since best practices are things that companies have tried that they have found to be successful, look at the information and advice as just that – advice and information. When you find something that you believe should be implemented in your company, take a good look at how, when, where, and why it should be implemented. Then, look at how you can adapt the information or advice to your business – tailor the approach to suite your needs, your company’s needs, and to be the most effective based on your business and culture. You know your employees best – adapt the strategy in a way that will be most appealing and effective to them.

Share, share, share.

When you have found something that works for you, please do share! Share within your organization, within your industry, to friends and family, and acquaintances. Your best practice may just spark an idea for someone else and may help them become successful, too.

Chicken And Chips

Serves 8

6 Cups diced, cooked chicken

2 Cans cream of chicken soup

16 Oz sour cream

½ Cup salsa

4 Cups cheese

4 Cups crushed corn chips

Combine chicken, soup, sour cream, and salsa. Spoon half of this mixture into a casserole dish. Top with half the cheese and 2 cups of the crushed corn chips; repeat. Cook on 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

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